One, Two, Three times a lady…

by bmccoy

Ok here’s attempt number 3 at this silly blog.  I’ve deduced that my lack of postings are due to a mindset that I don’t have enough energy to be creative.  I still think that is partially true, but here’s the kicker: I feel better about life when I’m being creative, even if the match that lights my creativity has been doused with water and is placed directly in front of an industrial fan, while I rub two sticks together to create heat.  You get the point.  My metaphors are still coming back.  It’s not like riding a bike, dammit. 

I went back and read some of my old postings and thought, “Hey, I’m not terrible at writing.  I like writing.  I should write more.”  You know that feeling though, when you’re exhausted and all you want to do is veg on the couch. That is my life right now.  I am in school, (God help us. More on that later) and I have two children who, as all children do, require a substantial amount of energy.  I am also working at a job that I love, but is fairly exhausting from time to time.  I know everyone is busy and everyone has a thousand things going on, so I’m not at all saying that I’ve got more than the next guy. 

What I am saying is that when the opportunity comes, after the kids are asleep and the homework is finished, there is this sacred moment of silence and no responsibility.  Two roads diverge in a wood at that time.  I take the road that is, or huffpost, or some random marching band score recap.  I go to bed depressed, having done nothing to fill myself up, scratch the creative itch, or give any life to my soul.  In my head, I am too tired to be creative at that time, but I am now aware that if I can push through the tired, I can end the day on a high note, and start the next day in a better spot.  That will make all the difference.

So here I am back at level one. Readers or no readers (although I hope there are still a few of you out there).

I’m firing up the engine again because after all this time, I’m finally realizing (again) that I need to do it for me, so I can feel like I am supposed to feel. 

Whew. That got serious quick. We’ll work on that.  

More coming, I promise this time!!