so here’s a good one..

Listen:

So i wait tables from time to time at a very high class establishment for the kids of today to hang at called Chili’s.  They have baby-back ribs, and chicken fingers that could kill you instantly if your heart was weak enough. I don’t really like working there but its decent money, good people, and extremely flexible with my music out of town craziness.

So there’s this girl that works there named Grace, and she has worked at Chili’s for a little while, maybe six months or so.  She is a bit over weight, has really frizzy blonde hair, and is one of the loudest humans on the planet.  Having said that, she is also always very quick to ask how my (or anyone else for that matter) day is going, how Amanda and the baby boy are doing, and so on.  The funny thing is, for some reason, she is the most annoying person i have ever talked to, but when you actually think (or type) it out, i cant understand what makes her so annoying to me!  

I’m sure you all have people in your life like that, right?  Tell me i’m not the huge jerk that i sound like from time to time.

Anyway, today i walked into Chili’s and realized that i wasn’t needed and that i would be going home instead of working.  Which is good. Not good, great. Any time i dont work, and it’s not my fault, i’m a happy dude.  Today however, i was annoyed because i drove all the way out there only to find that a lazy manager could have called me at home and told me not to come in.  Punks. 

So i’m annoyed anyway, and here comes loud mouthed Grace, she comes up and says “hey Brandon, how are ya today?”  How dare she come up and try to strike up a pleasant conversation with me! Who does she think she is?!  I grumble something to the effect of “fine” and sort of walk away. 

I go up to one of my other co-workers, knowing there is something wrong with me and ask him “Why is it that Grace is so nice and yet i am annoyed with everything she says to me?”  His answer made me want to crawl into a hole.  Here’s the story.

Basically he told me to get over myself because i’m a jerk and that if i would have paid attention to anything about Grace i would know that she has some gnarly kidney disease that is basically killing her day by day.  She is poor (Chili’s) and her insurance doesn’t cover a kidney transplant, so she’s not even on a list.  She wears a catheter at all times, and has been told that she has a little more than a year left to live unless something drastic changes.

So there’s that. 

I’m still a bit baffled, and reeling about my own selfishness right now.  I’m amazing at how i could miss something like that about someone i see on a quasi regular basis.  What else am i missing? Who else is in the midst of tragedy?  Where is my head/heart for my fellow man?  I seem to be able to talk an amazing game, and play the part of Christian really well for the majority of my life, but man i should really do something. 

Maybe start by apologizing to Grace.

this day.

Listen:

woke up at 9:37 and sort of felt like crap.  jumped on facebook because that’s a emotion duller/validater.

Had a fairly generic conversation via chat with my friend Aaron, and for some reason, felt great instantly. thanks facebook?

saw Gettysburg, PA and the battlefields this weekend. i stood alone right in the middle of the field and tried to imagine the feeling of knowing that in a matter of minutes i would either have killed a man or be dead.  A bit hard to imagine. i’m not sure i believe in anything that much. 

In the midst of facebook medicine this morning, felt an intense urge to listen to the song “Hey Now” by Augustana.  Am still listening to it on repeat. it seems to be working. 

The A.I.R. record seems to be taking over my life one day at a time.  I feel like we’ve finally turned a corner regarding song selection. It’s going to be a bit more worship than i thought it would be, but it turns out to probably be a good call.  Maybe start recording the end of Feb for a June/July release? here’s hopin!

Also, there is this song called “How He Loves Us” by John Mark McMillian that Riddle has been playing and its got some of the most amazing lyrics in worship music today in my opinion.

He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realise just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

We are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.
So Heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss,
And the heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don’t have time to maintain this regrets, 
When I think about, the way…

He loves us, oh how He loves us

 

Good stuff.  

Cheers

shameless

Listen:

 

i dont like doing this, but im going to anyway.

click on this website.

vote for Jeremy Riddle’s new single to get picked up in full rotation on KLOVE.

then go about the rest of your day knowing that you helped a brother out.

Thanks

b

i suppose i ask for it…

Listen:

It’s 1:47am according to the clock on the MacBook.  I have just returned home from Mississippi, from where i departed at approximately 12:30 this afternoon.  The ride was uneventful, painless, apathetic, and long.  Tunes were played, conversations were had, and so on, but at the end of the day, every trip is exactly the same as the one before and will be exactly the same as the next one. The end is the beginning is the end. 

Josh Urban (who plays guitar in A.I.R.) filled in this weekend for Evan, who is off galavanting in the high seas on Titanic-esk vessels.  As we made our final approach into Kansas City, Urban slept and i listened to a mixture of Patty Griffin and Death Cab for Cutie.  Why is it that the best music makes you examine your soul to such strange depths?   I feel so inferior to great songwriters when i hear them that i can hardly enjoy the music for what it is.  How pathetic. 

Entering the home i purchased October of 2006 this evening was a bit of a reaquaintance from which i am still recovering.  My bride who is the only one in the home with a legitimate occupation was asleep as she should be, with 27 weeks of baby somersaulting inside of her.  My feline companion, Finny, was overjoyed to see me, rubbing up against my legs, meowing and meowing, jumping onto my lap when i sat, all of the things a loving animal should do to it’s owner.  That is until i fed him, which is the only reason for his affection to begin with.  He’s now asleep on my bed taking up my entire side, a task he is used to as he has occupied it more than i have for the last week.  

As i drove tonight, my thoughts played tricks on me.  Friends we’re thought of as enemies, and enemies friends.  Physical pain in my chest, with labored breathing spells.  Lyrics failed to do anything more than frustrate. The beauty of Middle America interstate failed to move me.  Companionship with one of my best friends failed to inspire me.  Billboards advertising everything from churches to sex shops both offended and annoyed me as they sprouted from the ground every quarter mile, their lights like demon beacons of Capitalism hoisting a society that i am quickly becoming disillusioned with.  Ah the road. 

Feelings due to the unreciprocated times of worship this weekend? Perhaps.  It’s always a bit draining to play the Bible Belt, oddly enough.  Feelings due to 23 hours of driving in two days? Perhaps.  Feelings due to leaving my wife and 27 weeks of somersault at home without me? Perhaps.  

Whatever the cause for this wall that has been hit head on both physically and emotionally, it would appear that the only forms of remedy that come to mind are Prayer, Shaving, Showering, Prayer, Bed. 

Off i go to begin step one.

time out

Listen:

vacation till next week. 

be back soon.

Porn needs a bailout???

Listen: here we go…

So Larry Flint and and Joe Francis (the classy fellas that run Hustler Magazine and Girls With Low Self Esteem), have requested a 5 Million dollar bailout from the Federal Government, saying ““the US government should actively support the adult industry’s survival and growth, just as it feels the need to support any other industry cherished by the American people.”

Where should we begin… let me think… let me think…  the problem here is this: there are an equal amount of dirty liberals that read this blog as there are right wing nut jobs, so i’ll just throw something out there and piss someone off, surely. 

I think the best question to ask ourselves is simply “are you effing kidding me?”  Now, i’m pretty against the auto bailout because i tend to believe that if you are going to believe in Capitalism (and the jury’s still out on my opinion on that) then you have to believe that if you make crappy cars that break down, and people stop buying them because they know the cars will break down, then you lose the Capitalism gamble.  Nonetheless, the auto industry was bailed out, and so were the upstanding and morally strict Wall Street Banks, so here we are.  

This obviously opened the doors for every looney who is losing money to come crawling to the Fed’s and ask to be helped out of the crummy business they have been running.   Enter Larry and Joe.  The business of objectifying women and hurting families is in trouble.  Maybe more people have found God in trying times, maybe husbands are realizing that the family needs to eat more than he needs to have “man-time” in the basement so he’s stopped spending money on the DVD’s and websites. Either way, how can the porn industry going under do any bad to anyone? I know my life would have been a bit easier had porn never entered it!

Enter “what about the thousand’s of people working in the porn industry?” plea.

hmmmmm. actually something that makes me think.  Sure they are making a living doing something pretty bad for the moral society, but i threw people out of a Casino for a couple years, and if i hadn’t i wouldnt have been able to support my wife though her last year of college.  How was that job any different than being a porn key grip guy?  

i land on not bailing out the industry, in the same way that i landed on not bailing out the auto industry or Wall Street.  At some point we need to look at the moral side of this country and make steps toward a more centered morality. “but what you think is moral is different than what i think is moral”  true, but this is my blog, so i win!

Let’s discuss, shall we?

my anti-socialness is being anti-social

Listen:

Normally i am not the guy who strikes up conversations.  Unless i am in a particular mood, that is.  Either way, as i do my day to day errands, i’m happiest being left alone for a certain amount of time to do whatever it is i do throughout the day. (Not much!)

Today was a bit different.  Uncomfortably different, yet even as i type that, it wasn’t so uncomfortable after all.  Here’s the rundown.  (why am i all about rundown’s lately?)

Woke up and made breakfast- not really pertaining to the story, but i needed a starting point.

Got my hair “did” and had a nice bit of conversation about baby things with my friend Candice who cuts my hair. -not all that out of the ordinary, but its sets up the rest of it. stay with me.

Picked up amanda’s dry-cleaning (because i’m that amazing) and had a long talk with the Korean lady about the economy and her business. basically this lady is losing money almost daily, but she said it all with such a smile that i couldn’t help but feel a bit uncomfortable.  She said her family in Korea has lost interest in coming to the states because it’s no better than where they are for business.  I assured her that Amanda and i ONLY use her (which is true i think, i dont really handle the dry-cleaning) and she laughed out loud with joy.  ”thank you! thank you!” she said.  i wanted to hug her and tell her that she and her husband will get through the hard times, but who knows. maybe they wont?   as i was leaving she said “Obama is president now, its a new year, things will turn around for us.”  Amen sister.

on we go.  

Grocery store for dinner tonight-  we’re having Nate and Sara over tonight for a double date that is nearly six months in the planning.  We have stupid schedules sometimes.  Anyway, i’m looking through the celery and it looks like crap, which is unusual for our local store.  The produce guy is standing very close to me, and for some unbeknownst reason, i ask him why the celery sucks today?! THIS IS NOT LIKE ME!!   I didn’t say it angrily, i was genuinely interested.  He said that he got a bad batch and was pretty upset about it.  He apologized over and over, and i told him that i didn’t mind, just interested if it was out of season or whatever.  He made some joke that i courtesy laughed at, and i moved on.

keeping close one of my favorite anti social tools, i proceeded to the “self check out” forgetting that i had wine (sinner) so therefore someone would have to check my ID.  Normally i just hand it over, make an excuse as to why it is so torn up. (i wash my ID on a regular basis.) and move on.  This time i made small talk with the clerk.  He saw a picture of amanda in my wallet and asked about her.  i wasn’t even annoyed that he stayed around long after i had bagged my wine (sinner). 

out the door, i stop at the local, generic version of the RedBox.  There is a lady there, changing movies out, and cleaning the machine.  She moves out of the way so i can rent Wall-E.  and here comes Mr. Talkative again.  I ask this woman if she owns it, if she makes decent money with it, and tell her that Amanda and i try to use her’s more than the RedBox to support local KC business. She asks what i do, and it turns out that she digs Riddle’s music, and goes to a pretty cool church here in town.  

who would have thought that being friendly could be so nice?

Maybe it was the Boulevard Pale Ale Mustard i put on my egg sandwich this morning, maybe it was the different hair goo i am rocking today, maybe it’s the Counting Crow’s bender that i seem to be on lately.  Whatever it was, my anti-social side seems as if he’s being a bit anti-social. 

Cheers!

Day 1.

Listen:

Woke up at 11:46 am.

For some reason absolutely HAD to listen to the song “what Sarah said” by Death Cab for Cutie.  You should go download that song if you don’t already own it. 

Listened to it five or six times on repeat while picking up empty cans of Guinness.  

Spoke to a friend who just lost his unborn baby. Said many prayers. 

Spoke to a friend who just found out his wife was pregnant. Interesting. 

Went to brunch at Corner Cafe’ (which is the second best place to eat breakfast or brunch in KC). Was baffled that you can still smoke in Riverside, MO. 

Came home and finished a song about hope, thinking of my friends. 

Let my neighbor borrow a 1/2 cup of sugar. (because i’m friendly.)

Talked to my dad about why the Chief’s need to fire Herm Edwards, post-haste. 

Wrote a song about failing and the need to be recovered.

Listened to “what Sarah said” a few more times. 

Went to the store with Amanda and bought a severe amount of groceries forgetting that we are leaving town for vacation in a week, and i will go from vacation to play a few shows, putting me out of town for about 12 days.  Basically i have to eat a lot of food between now and next friday so it doesn’t go bad. 

While at the store, ran into my mom and some old friends.  I’ve found that i really have nothing to say to anyone these days.  (mom excluded)

Came home and made small talk with previously mentioned neighbor. I’m still friendly. 

Made homemade spinach artichoke dip and three bean enchiladas.  Yum. (i may post that recipe soon, i dont think i’ve done a recipe since the Black Bean Burgers of 08! 

Watched Wayne’s World.  <—– alliteration.

Black Bean Burgers . <——–alliteration.

Wife is asleep. Cat is asleep. Not sure what the baby’s doin, but i would imagine either sleeping or flailing his extremities wildly.  Seems to be his two speeds as of late. 

Gonna read some Proverbs, probably take a glance at the book that came with the “How to dismantle an atomic bomb” CD. and go to sleep myself.

Not a bad Day One of 2009.  I might be able to fend of the impending ulcer after all. 

Cheers!

another 2008 year in review

This time by the pros…

a year in review of sorts..

Listen:

Many apologies for the lack of postings as of late.  I have noticed a significant drop in my views, so for those of you still interesting in this nonsense of a blog i upkeep, thanks!  

For some reason i have a love for year end recaps.  I love people’s “top 10″ lists and hearing the joys and troubles of a year.  Because of such things, i will contribute my own BMcCoy year in review.  (Of course i have given no thought to this whatsoever, so this should be pretty good…)

at random, a glimpse of my 2008.

• Lots of cities visited for music purposes. almost enough to sympathize with Jon Bon Jovi’s claim “i’ve seen a million faces, and i’ve rocked them all” but not quite, maybe next year.
• There is officially a bun in my wife’s oven. insanity.
• I met some amazing friends by the names of Aaron, Bush, and Jimmie. (among others) on a really fun tour in the spring. 
• I lost a close friend due to silliness that can not be un-sillied.
• i got through another year without having to “PIH” (for and explaination on PIH click here)
• Autumn In Repair has been given an amazing opportunity to rock the masses. 
• Riddle has not fired me, i get to keep paying my bills!!!
• I caused a fairly big stir with a blog posting on the dude that faked cancer. (read that here)
• I contributed to the Obama campaign by going door to door. totally out of my comfort zone, but something that i felt quite necessary. 
• I GOT AN IPHONE! I GOT AN IPHONE! I GOT AN IPHONE!
• I saw Coldplay live, and it made me fall back in love with music. And british folk..
• did i mention the bun in the oven?!
• I am more familiar with the TSA airport regulations than President Bush. and could easily fill in for any flight attendant on any airline in this great country. 
• my cat Chester Finnigan McCoy (he goes by Finny) killed on or around 2,000 critters including but not limited to; birds, mice, rabbits, and snakes.
• I think my hairline receded a touch more…. son of a…
• We went to Canada twice. one of the times i was hassled. (read about that here)
• this was a crazy story that deserves another read.. 
• and let us not ever forget…. Sarah Palin went away. (at least for now) 

all in all, i feel like it was a good year. Thanks to all who have kept this blog in service.  Here’s hoping i have things to say in 2009.  I may take a week off for regrouping purposes, but i may not, who knows!?

Merry Christmas, kids!  Cheers!!!

B